Welcome to the list nobody dreams about — except your debts, which are sitting there polishing their nails, waiting for your next paycheck. The world runs on debt. Not just your debt, everybody’s. As of 2025, global debt has smashed through $315 trillion — that’s 336% of global GDP. The U.S. alone owes over $34 trillion and is still spending like a college freshman with their first credit card. Even Donald bloody Trump couldn’t magic that away, and you can bet your last overdrafted dollar that somewhere, right now, politicians and bankers are already cooking up the next “innovative” scam to make it all look fine while sweeping the mess under a gold-plated rug.
The Plan… And the Trap
Every debt guide says the same thing: write down all your debts, pick a strategy, cut expenses, stay disciplined, be free. Sounds clean, noble, almost romantic.
Until you actually write the list. Then it’s not a “plan” — it’s a police lineup of financial murderers, and every one of them has your address. You’ve got “Visa the Vulture” staring you down, “Mastercard the Loan Shark” tapping a baseball bat in its hand, and that one sketchy personal loan you took “just for a month” that’s now old enough to start kindergarten.
The Big Choice: Avalanche or Snowball
Debt Avalanche means you take out the biggest, ugliest, most expensive loan first. Great in theory — but in practice, it’s like trying to fight the final boss in a video game when you’ve still got the starter weapon. Debt Snowball? Easier to get quick wins — but clearing a $300 balance while still owing $20,000 feels about as satisfying as taking one bite of cake while someone else eats the rest.
Pick whichever you can stick with without screaming into your pillow at 3 a.m. That’s the real strategy.
Cutting Expenses — The Glamorous Version vs. Reality
The brochure version says “Live below your means.” Reality says “Live below your pride.” You swap your shiny financed car for a squeaky bike and every neighbor suddenly wants to know if you’re “okay.” You hold a garage sale and realize half the neighborhood just came to see what rock-bottom looks like up close. You sell your TV for $50 and now you’re explaining to friends why you’re watching Netflix on a laptop propped up on a cereal box.
And sometimes? You’ll blow it. You’ll sell your rare comic book collection for a quick $800, tell yourself you’ll make an extra payment… and a week later, you’re at a beach bar in the Caribbean holding a $12 cocktail in a coconut.
The Cost of Doing Nothing
Ten grand on a credit card at 22% APR, paying the minimum? That’s not paying off debt, that’s renting it. You send in your little $200 payment, the bank skims off the interest, and your balance stays as bloated as ever. Somewhere in the corporate HQ, there’s a whiteboard with your name under the title “Quarterly Bonus Plan.”
The “Investment” in Your Mobility
You buy a $20,000 car on a 4-year loan at 6%. $475 a month. Four years later, you’ve paid $22,750 for something worth $8,000 — if you’re lucky. The salesman told you it was an “investment in your freedom.” Yeah, nothing says freedom like paying champagne prices for a bottle of flat soda.
Selling Stuff, Side Hustles, Negotiations
Sounds easy enough. But selling “unused stuff” often means spending three hours on Facebook Marketplace haggling with a guy who wants your $100 coffee table for $20 and keeps asking if you’ll deliver it. Side hustles? Great, if you don’t mind spending your Saturday night driving drunk strangers home for tips that barely cover the gas. Negotiations with creditors? Sure, if you can survive an hour on hold listening to a voice tell you how “important” your call is.
The Mental War
Debt isn’t just money you owe — it’s a constant background hum in your head. It’s the quiet “what if” when you want to take a risk. It’s the reason you leave the bar early, the reason you skip birthdays, the reason you second-guess every purchase over $10. And while being debt-free feels incredible, the road there will chew you up. You’ll be embarrassed, tempted, and occasionally reckless. You’ll eat ramen for the third night in a row, scroll through your feed, and watch friends buy things you can’t touch for years.
Mission Complete
This isn’t about “being responsible.” It’s about taking the power back. Your Debt Kill List is your enemy roster. Cross off every name. Don’t stop until it’s empty. And when it is? Then you can stop killing and start building.
And if you ever feel like slacking off, just picture your debt sitting there, smirking, with a piña colada in hand — that you paid for.
Keep reading. Keep making me money. Bloody Finance.