Welcome to the small, slightly unhinged corner of the internet where investing isn’t a glossy brochure. There are no slow-motion shots of happy couples clinking wine glasses on yachts, and if I ever use the phrase “financial freedom by Friday,” please close the tab and never come back. This blog exists to tell you the whole story — the wins, the losses, and the moments where you stare at your portfolio wondering if it’s broken or if it just hates you.
I’m not here to scare you away from investing. I’m here so you stop walking into it like a toddler running toward traffic because TikTok told you “money works for you.”
BloodyFinance Disclaimer (Read Before You Sue Me):
Nothing you read here should be taken seriously. Every article on BloodyFinance is written for entertainment and sarcasm purposes only. Sure, you might find a grain of truth—maybe even a whole damn kernel—but if you’re planning to make life-changing financial decisions based on this… don’t.
Also, yes, there will be affiliate links sprinkled throughout. The products I link to are genuinely useful and might actually help you. If you click them, I’ll make a little money, and you won’t lose a dime—unless you get scammed, in which case… sorry, but that’s on you. And I’ll always make it clear when a piece contains this kind of content.
So now, when we’ve got that out of the way… keep reading.
Why This Blog Exists
Bloody Finance was born out of two things: a love for investing, and the firm belief that my sense of humor could probably kill in the right circumstances. Why waste that talent keeping it to myself when I can use it to make people laugh and think about money at the same time?
I got tired of reading the same recycled advice: “Buy low, sell high.” Thanks, genius. “Invest for the long term.” Groundbreaking. The internet is drowning in content that’s either sugar-coated nonsense or technical jargon designed to make you feel stupid so you’ll buy someone’s course. This blog is my way of cutting through all that — with straight talk, zero jargon, and enough sarcasm to make you spill your coffee.
I don’t sell magic formulas. I don’t pretend the market is a safe, friendly place. And I definitely don’t think you’ll get rich by following some “one weird trick.” What I do believe is that you can navigate the market without losing your mind — if you get the full, unfiltered truth. And yes, if you can’t laugh when your portfolio drops 15% overnight, you’re probably in the wrong game.
The Other Side of the Coin (or Stock, or Crypto…)
Everywhere you look online, people are showing off green charts, “passive income” screenshots, and their best investor-lifestyle selfies. You know what they never show?
- The panic-induced 3 a.m. refresh of your trading app because you’re sure something is wrong.
- That special sinking feeling when your “sure thing” stock tanks 40% the week after you buy it.
- The actual time, energy, and willpower it takes to make “passive” income work.
If you’re here expecting constant positivity and vision boards of Lambos, you’re going to have a bad time. But if you want the real story — the wins and the hangovers — you’re in the right place.
Because the truth is, this game is half numbers, half emotions, and emotions will happily eat your numbers for breakfast if you don’t get them under control.
How to Navigate Bloody Finance
This blog isn’t just random thoughts thrown at a wall. Each section has a purpose — and if you’re smart, you’ll start where it hurts most.
Debt Kill List – Practical, occasionally brutal advice on how to destroy your debt. Because trying to invest while carrying that weight is like trying to swim with a backpack full of bricks. You can do it… but eventually you’re going under.
My Assets, My Regrets – My actual portfolio, in all its glory and shame. You’ll see what I own, why I own it, and where I’ve completely misjudged the market. Think of it as financial reality TV, except I’m the one looking bad instead of some guy on a yacht.
The Mental Game – My personal favorite, and the most important category. Your brain decides whether you succeed in the markets — not your broker, not your favorite stock, not the economy. If you lose it up here taps head, you’ll lose it in your account. And yes, this is the part 99% of blogs ignore, because it’s hard to sell “emotional discipline” in a $99 webinar.
Start with what you need most. If you’re drowning in debt, go straight to the Kill List. If you’re curious (or nosy) about my portfolio, check out My Assets. But if you’re serious about winning in the long term, don’t skip The Mental Game — because without that, nothing else will matter.
My Investing Philosophy
I don’t believe in silver bullets — if someone tells you they have one, they’re probably lying, selling you something, or both. And if you’re still looking for “the secret” after binge-watching three YouTube gurus, congratulations — you’re exactly the kind of fresh meat the market loves. My approach is simple: play the long game, avoid lottery-ticket thinking, and for the love of your bank balance, stop thinking you can outsmart everyone on your first try.
The market doesn’t care about you. It’s not a god, it’s not your friend, and it definitely isn’t your personal ATM. What decides whether you win or lose isn’t the economy or your broker — it’s your brain. If you panic, you lose. If you think you’re a genius after two lucky trades, you will lose (just a matter of time).
I learn, I adapt, I screw up — often publicly — and I keep going. If I can make you laugh while you’re figuring out that half your “strategies” are just wishful thinking, then we’re both winning in ways the market can’t measure.
The Newsletter (Sign Up Before You Forget)
Once a week — or whenever the market does something stupid enough to warrant it — I’ll send you an email with fresh content, extra commentary, and the occasional joke that didn’t make it into the blog. No spam, no “buy this shady coin,” no recycled LinkedIn wisdom.
And let’s be honest: your email will also come in handy for me. One day, I might try to sell you an ebook or a course. Why? Because I’m also here to make money — and if you enjoy my style, why not? At least you’ll know it’s coming from someone who can make you laugh while separating you from your cash.
A Friendly Warning
Nothing here is financial advice. I don’t know your goals, your risk tolerance, or whether you panic-sell at −5%. I just write from experience and observation.
If you buy crypto with your rent money because you saw a meme here — that’s not on me, that’s on Darwin.
Ready to See the Whole Picture?
If you can handle the highs and the hangovers of investing, you’ll fit right in. Start reading, subscribe to the newsletter, and maybe — just maybe — we’ll survive this game with both our portfolios and our sanity intact.
Bloody Tip: Before you invest, try explaining your plan to a 10-year-old. If they say “huh?” — you might not actually have a plan.